Hello life

Today is my birthday and I have been stumbling around here for 52 years. Wikipedia says the oldest person on earth was a french lady named Jeane Calment who lived to the ripe old age of 122. That means worst case scenerio, I will have to pay taxes for 70 more years.

On top of this news I found out I won something.

I won a nomination on a blog called

http://badlandsbadley.wordpress.com

I will put it on the fireplace mantle next to my award from

http://misexperienciaspersonales.wordpress.com

Just what I needed to find out today

Paying taxes for an additional 70 years and another honorable mention on a blog.

I wish I could cash those nominations in and buy some cigarettes.

Thanks life
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Deciding where to eat lunch

Wife. Where do you want to eat lunch today?

Me. I don’t care.

Wife. Then this Chinese place I heard about in San Francisco.

Me. No. I don’t want Chinese. It is all carbs and I don’t want to eat too many carbs. Also it is hard to find parking there.

Wife. Then lets go to Daly City and have crab at Wu’s Resturaunt.

Me. Is that Chinese? Sounds Chinese. I don’t want too many carbs.

Wife. No. It’s not.

Me. Sounds Chinese to me. What type of people work there?

Wife. Vietnamese.

Me. Same thing. And why do you keep choosing places that are too far away?

Epilogue. We drove even farther than Daly City and had Filipino food. Lots of carbs.

WWTJD

Looking for a relatively clean toilet at the public restroom of the 99 Ranch Market in Richmond CA., I stumbled into a stall. The last patron had left a coin on the toilet paper role holder.

And there I sat with Thomas Jefferson looking at me as I wondered what the founding father would do if he was in an outhouse and saw a coin with my likeness looking at him.

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Michael Jackson- The Immortal World Tour

I went to Cirque Du Soleil Michael Jackson- The Immortal World Tour- on Tuesday night at the Oracle Arena in Oakland California. Normally I don’t go to shows and very very rarely do I go out on a workday but my wife talked me into taking the kids out for a “once in a lifetime experience”.

A quick summary.

Tickets $78 each, Parking $35, Hamburger and other food items $8.99, bottle of water (believe it or not) $6.99. I have not been a Michael Jackson fan since I was in elementary school and he sang “I’ll be there” but like I said I let my wife talk me into going. This was my first Cirque Du Soleil and I believe the show itself was worth the money but if I knew what I know now before I went I would not have gone.

You already know that I don’t like to be around some types of people. Please don’t think of me as hater. Now I am fair and I don’t discriminate on who I don’t want to be around. I must admit that maybe I lean a bit against white people or more specifically white American people.

Now before you jump to the conclusion that I am a hater give me a minute to explain. You see I am white American and white Americans have had every damn advantage possible in this country so if you are a white American and you are rude, inconsiderate, self absorbed, or just plain stupid there is no excuse for you and that is how I role on that subject.

So on about why I will not revisit the Cirque Du Soleil Michael Jackson- The Immortal World Tour- at The Oracle Arena in Oakland California or any other function like this again. I hope.

So I sat down Section 110, row 25, seat 6 one hour twenty minutes early for the show. Five minutes after I sat down, a white 40sh woman several rows away recognizer the woman seated two seats to my right. Then woman on my right was also white and 40sh with a damn pierced lip with a silver stud looking like a damn zit. That silly woman walked over to us and stood directly in front of me and had a loud silly conversation with pierced lip woman about where the standing broad might buy a house. A conversation twice as loud as it needed to be damn near over my head. Standing woman left 20 minutes before show start.

White people. No excuse for that rudeness\lack of consideration to think that I may not want an ear full of her pitiful life.

Two minutes later what I thought was a white fellow with his homely wife and what turned out to be two women sat in front of me. I have got no problem with two women in what looked like a “relationship” per se but these two gentlewomen need to do two things.

First, if you are a grown man or a teenage boy or a menopausal woman as these two looked like they might be and you have peach fuss growing all over your face, take care of it. The lights from the laser and fireworks show was making that damn stuff glow and it distract me during the entire show.

Also you -the slightly more feminine looking gal on the right. Turn off your damn cell phone and quit sharing photographs when the show starts.

And lastly you can do what you want but you two need to dye those damn grey roots and throw on a dab of makeup. Please!

Now next, just before the show started, two couples in their early 50s sat down in the seat behind me and my wife and two kids. Earlier in the night it looked like these seats might remain empty but no such luck. As you know from my last letter I am a kicker magnet and was hoping to have a peaceful night

Well guess who sat behind me? You guessed it. A white three Hundred pound behemoth mentioned in my last blog post and his three large white friends.

To my surprise though he was not a kicker. Nope. Not a kicker but the four of them were loud and laughing out loud to impress each other and the fellow behind me kept commenting to his friends about every damn thing in the show and then he would start singing along and on and on with the bellowing and hooting and guffawing between the four of them.

I wadded up some tissue and stuffed my ears and tried to ignore things. I understand they were there to have fun like everyone else but finally I turned around, looked behemoth in his big eye and said “Hey Bud could you tone down the comments a bit? This is not your living room.” He nodded yes in agreement as if he had been through this ever since his mother had told him about the difference about an indoor voice and an outdoor voice. The rudeness level went down considerably. White people. No excuse.

So now I sat there and tried to watch and enjoy but my heart was racing a bit in anticipation of something bad happening again but nothing did. Five, ten twenty minutes passed and I was just really getting involved in the spectacle of the show.

Wap! I felt something slap the top of my bald head. My heart immediately raced and I reached on top of my head as If I was trying to snatch a fish out of the water and I grabbed purse handles. I tugged and the owner tugged back and I heard “oh sorry” and I tugged again harder and then let go allowing the idiot to think she had won the tug of war.

Most of the he last half of the show was uneventful. The couple in front of left their phone off. The large people behind me had no loud conversations to speak of. I was going to be able to try and enjoy the last few minutes of the show even though I am not a Michael Jackson fan and then finally go home to some peace and quiet when it began. Ever so lightly from behind me right on the back of my seat near my tailbone. Tap…..taptap……tap

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